the smoldering that used to be

the car is coming home by the weekend. i cant drive off with it until the title is in hand at the dealership. it was only there for 2 days before i test drove it...so it hadnt come in yet.

tonight is belly dancing. (:3 while i dont feel especially connect with the teacher or the girls in the class, i still enjoy it. i am terrible at remembering the order of the steps. and so, i dont get much choice in having a partner. its like grade school all over again! q:3

luckily, i dont really care. i just go to shake.

plans are developing to maybe take a friday off and go to six flags. if it works out, i will be thrilled. heh.

this weekend is motorcycle weekend! woo-hoo! with lionstar! woo-hoo!

still on this fekking plateau. ive been monitoring results. i think i might actually have to start eating salad every night. blecch. i like salad. just dont know how well i can stick to having it every night. *sigh* maybe even a week or two of it will help. feh.

not much new in the job world. i am still applying for things. still no call back from BMG, so i think thats out for sure. man, i need a change! i havnt lost faith that something will turn up. and i have lots of people lookin out for me. id be happy to share my résumé if anyone thinks they know someone....*hint* (:3 i'll move anywhere pretty much if the job is good enough.

this week at work i am getting soooo much done! its great...no interruptions every 5 minutes for me to print stuff or answer phones or get talked to like a 12 year old. woot!

i guess thats mostly all.
(:3
hope everyone has an awesome day!!!

i found a pretty cool website for those out there in diet/exercise land. its called the daily plate.

it tracks your calorie goals for the day, water consumption, adds up your daily totals, tracks your food choices...offers up better choices, calculates calories and activity. i started using it yesterday, and so far it's pretty neat.

i'm bad at the calculations part of healthy eating, so i'm hoping this might help.

i'm also trying to give up chocolate for a while. the only time i'll allow it is when it's in ice cream. and i've already proven i dont need ice cream as often as i thought i did. so hopefully the consumption will stay down across the board.

if anyone does go try it, i'd be interested to hear what you think.
(:3

how is it that i conquered my instincts for food and cultivated a love for the gym for 7 months, only to have it all unravel in a super stressful week of doomitude.
feh.
i disappoint myself.
*sigh*
i know i've failed myself as i havent even gotten on the scale the past few mornings. i'm too bummed out to deal with the numbers going up.

while there really is no excuse, i've been stressed out and full of headache. i know i've turned to eating poorly to get me through. i've been fighting the urge to "comfort eat" all my life. most of the time i manage to get though it. some times it's tough.

right now the only positive thing is that i've been thus far 8 days without ice cream. maybe that's part of the problem. i think i actually eat less when i have ice cream. but, i'm determined to go the full 40 days. so why can't i be as disciplined with other foods?

dont know.

hmm...maybe i need some inspiration. maybe spookybuttonboy can get some pictures and video footage of SFHW and forward them to me. then i'll post up the pics on the fridge as a warning! heh.

i think i will plan to be back on track on monday. that gives me the weekend to change my attitude and outlook.
and so, once more into the breech....

okay ben and jerry's, you may have won this battle, but you wont win the war!

the weekend was...interesting. i know right up until satyrday i made terrible choices. *slaps own hand* this culminated in a drunken need for mcdonalds french fries. guiness, i have learned, makes me crave salt even more when PMS-ing. and i had a lot of guinness. and i really dont like mcdonalds...especially at 2AM. *sigh*
i was a bad monkey. i know. and now i'm paying for it.

sunday dawned bright and promising. wheat bagel, iced coffee. i was doing great. went shopping and didnt buy a lot of crap. until jay had to have ben and jerry's cause he was feeling icky. so i bought one too. i havent had ben and jerry's in ages. and they are my patron saints. well, that didnt last too long in my possession. luckily, i had a decent portion of unused carbs at that point so it didnt have too adverse an effect.

but i feel back on track now.

and tonight is a gym night.
whew.
maybe i am just destined to be ruebenesque for life, eh?
(:3

so...last night i was definitely due for a gym trip. but i was sooooo exhausted. i thought i could get away with a 20 minute power nap before heading there. and an hour and a half later, i woke up dazed and dizzy. so, no gym.
honestly, i'm not too bad about that. it turns out that the 10 pounds i had imagined gaining while on vacation was only 2-3 lbs. whew. still, not good, but not horrible.

today, back on the wagon. must go past plateau in the other direction...

i may try to go to the gym tonight, but i cant help but feel like i have plans. but i dont remember what.

tomorrow, definitely.

this weekend shouldnt be too hectic. jay wants to take me to dinner and a movie or laser tag. as much fun as laser tag would be, it's more fun with a big group of people. and as much as i love movies, he tends to talk through them, which i cant stand. i'm trying not to see this as a downer. that he didnt really care to put thought into my birthday. but i'm willing to wait and see what actually happens.

anyone care to recommend a restaurant i simply must try?

gotta run down some invoices and then i'll come back and do a boring work update post.
(:3