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dredpiratebunnywell, i got hired by the video store...i ought to be more excited but all i keep thinking is how crap the pay will be and that ill still be making more by doing ren faire...i dont know...im going to give it a shot though...
and this means moving in with the boy. so on that side of things he and i will work or not, and this will be the catalyst...lets see how he does when he has me here all the time...course ill have a varied work schedule and wont be living on his schedule anymore...the crappiest part is that the store is open from 10am til midnight all week long...so if i work til midnight i get home at 1am...and if i get to sleep by 2am his alarm goes off at 5am...yup, dont like the math...but its what ive got and so i shall deal...
i think the part of me that wants to go back on the road again is getting bigger inside...and im not sure fighting it is a good thing.
oh yeah...also had a weird fucking dream
me and my boy were invited to tour this amazing mansion (think house on the rock but different) and one of the rooms was an imitation lake & beach. at that point in the tour, we sat in the "sun" for a while...boy proceeded to unload himself of a spear, a machete, and other odd minor things; i put down my purse...then as more and more people came and sat, and he wasnt near me anymore.
then on with the tour which included a very bizarre spiraling stairway that had to be worked just right to make it down (i didnt do it right the first time), and there was also a lot of japanese stuff too...but at the end of the tour boy said he forgot his stuff...and somehow i had to go get it...couldnt find the beach room at first then got lost then found it...tried picking up all the things but there were so many of them: pocket knife and change and sunglasses, and the spear and machete and on and on....as i stumbled back to the exit trying to keep everything in my hands...very frustruating....
then i woke up with a big headache...grrrr..
and this means moving in with the boy. so on that side of things he and i will work or not, and this will be the catalyst...lets see how he does when he has me here all the time...course ill have a varied work schedule and wont be living on his schedule anymore...the crappiest part is that the store is open from 10am til midnight all week long...so if i work til midnight i get home at 1am...and if i get to sleep by 2am his alarm goes off at 5am...yup, dont like the math...but its what ive got and so i shall deal...
i think the part of me that wants to go back on the road again is getting bigger inside...and im not sure fighting it is a good thing.
oh yeah...also had a weird fucking dream
me and my boy were invited to tour this amazing mansion (think house on the rock but different) and one of the rooms was an imitation lake & beach. at that point in the tour, we sat in the "sun" for a while...boy proceeded to unload himself of a spear, a machete, and other odd minor things; i put down my purse...then as more and more people came and sat, and he wasnt near me anymore.
then on with the tour which included a very bizarre spiraling stairway that had to be worked just right to make it down (i didnt do it right the first time), and there was also a lot of japanese stuff too...but at the end of the tour boy said he forgot his stuff...and somehow i had to go get it...couldnt find the beach room at first then got lost then found it...tried picking up all the things but there were so many of them: pocket knife and change and sunglasses, and the spear and machete and on and on....as i stumbled back to the exit trying to keep everything in my hands...very frustruating....
then i woke up with a big headache...grrrr..
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no subject
Date: 2004-06-03 09:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-06-03 11:14 am (UTC)I've been reading your posts. And if I may, I know you're a strong, capable and intelligent woman. Your heart is obviously telling you something and your posts convey a sense of being miserable. Sweetheart, do what you feel is right for YOU. Not for "the boy". If you and "the boy" are meant to be together, it will work out; he'll be flexible to your life, you'll be flexible to his, but if in the end, your two lives cannot be made to jive, it won't work. But you need to live life for you, not him. I predict that your live-in experience is going to be miserable - because you aren't happy - its very apparent in your writing that you aren't happy - and it seems to me that you're trying awfully hard to arrange your life to "make it happy". It won't be happy until you're happy - and nothing is going to change that.
"R" - do what's good for you. Eveything else will fall into place.
no subject
Date: 2004-06-04 05:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-06-03 11:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-06-04 05:35 am (UTC)just have to make it til then (:3