dredpiratebunny | if this, i am

if this is the lava, i am in it
looking up
the stars silent even now
when your words travel up the stairs and block them out
it's not like i'm some princess
stuck on top of your tower of cords and screens and less-thans.
and yet i'm up here all the same
the pea underneath like a volcano
and i am sleepless in these tectonics
on 100 mattresses high

if this is the pollution, then i am breathing it
the sky more like the end of days
and me with no wings
perched on your arm like a pretty little thing
hooded again, coughing up the lack of words
you are no black wolf after all
to come to me at night
the toxic air instead the blanket

if this is the rot, then i am eating it
i hear now what blind eyes can do
when lips part and mold comes in
you tell me to swallow and fill me up again
the maggots in my belly debate the science of flesh
whisper slither promises
and kiss each other goodnight
my weeping like an acid rain of their best chance
and a shrinking cloud of dust dances me into death

if this is the afterlife, i am done with it