dredpiratebunny | monochrome

this has been a day of grey. everything is so-so. on prozac. washed too many times.

frankly, a phone call to mom kind of started it. i think i'm finally at wit's end with her. i'm so tired about hearing just how shitty her life is, and her refusing to do anything about it. there is so much more to the story here than i feel like typing, but she just has such a negative fatalistic outlook all the time. when your mom tells you on the phone that she might as well kill herself it doesnt make for a pretty day. i'm just tired of her excuses and always being a victim. i fight those same feelings everyday. she just gives up.

and work today was meh. not that it was crazy, and not that it was dull. just kinda there. i think it's because my mind is elsewhere. (black sun is this weekend...)

i also missed the gym all last week. tonight i'm heading back in. but there is a big part of me that just wants to not go. i hate when i get like this.

i think i also see the impending hecticness of the next few months too.

i'm not sure that i will get to do cirque, since they are looking for a person who can do all 6 days (*ping*

chalkhorsegirl, check your email, you might be up for it) and i am only available weekends. i'm not ruled out since i am wikkid qualified though.

if no cirque there will be KRF. doing roses again i presume, but i still need to call ian and firm that up when i know yay/nay on cirque. this year though i want to do some other things, like maybe a day at the boston tattoo convention, or even going to the CTRF since i've never been.

who knows? i seem to have more plans than time to do it in these days.